Pondering…..What to Expect?

As the move gets closer and closer, I have started to ponder what my life will look like once in Ukraine. In a matter of days, I will finish my last shift caring for a lady that I have known for over 3 years. I will walk away from a job where I have a starting time, a finishing time, a list of duties that I am accustomed to. I will leave my family, my mom, sister, brother, sister-in-law, son, daughter, bonus sons and daughters, granddaughter, nieces, nephews, cousins and some though they are not blood related are just as close as family. Dear friends, new friends, co-workers, my church families…..I have been so blessed to be a part of 2 very strong churches while living in NW Arkansas. Both are warm, loving, mission minded….people that I can count on, pastors who have been spiritual leaders to help me be what God has planned for my life.

I can’t spend a lot of time dwelling on what I am leaving behind, the tears start to flow and the heart hurts. Yes, I will miss so many people. But I know beyond any doubt where the Lord is leading me, allowing me to go and He has a plan and purpose for my life. I know whatever lies ahead, I am in His perfect will. The people that I have come to know and love in Ukraine, they are there with oh so many more to meet, to love, to share our Hope – Jesus.

For those who personally know me, laughter is a way that I often deal with hard or unknown situations. I have already had snafus in the past and am sure there will be more to come. I hope and pray the people of Ukraine will show much grace and patience. Recently I had someone call me from Ukraine, they speak more English than I speak Russian. They asked when I was coming back to Ukraine, I said January twenty fourth. Now I know the numbers at time in our format can be an issue, so I say January, two four. I could tell they understood the two, four, but not January. So, as I say it slower and louder, I think, do they not have a January? Why aren’t they getting what I am saying…. then a light bulb moment…. I wonder if January is pronounced different in Russian….duh 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

As I think about my future so many unknowns I think back to when I became a mom. I was so fortunate as a teenager to baby sit, work in a day care, around babies and toddlers so often. When I had my son, it was an emergency C-Section, I was put under, so it was hours later before I was really coherent. The nurse came in my room and ask if I had seen my son, I said no. She went and got him. He was all swaddled up, and she placed him in my arms, and I remember looking at him and thinking so, this is what it’s like to be a mom. Now I had no clue what lie in ahead, I thought I did, but I really didn’t. Before we left the hospital, the nurse told me if I fed him too much, he would have a tummy ache and I needed to be aware of how much he was eating. Our first night home, his first feeding, then he cried and cried. I waited until the proper amount of time to pass and fed him again, and he cried and cried. He’s crying, I’m crying, I’m calling the nurse to see what am I doing wrong? When it was all said and done, I wasn’t feeding him enough, he was crying because he was hungry! Talk about feeling like a horrible mom. However, we figured it out and would go on to the next hurdle and the next and now he is a grown man with children of his own.

There is no way I can know what to expect. What challenges lie ahead, what hurdles I will have to overcome. For all the I don’t know situations and there are many at this point, it is all okay. Why is it okay? Because I know the One who created the universe. I know the One who parted the red sea so the children of Israel could walk over on dry land. I know the One that says I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and He knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb. I know the One who had carried me through the greatest loss I have ever known, when my husband completed his race. I know the One who has called me…..the least of the least, a widow woman who has normally worked 2 jobs at a time throughout my life, and yet He is allowing me to go, to a country where people are hurting, they are afraid, and they are searching for Hope!

Until next time…..Look Up, Keep Serving Jesus, He is Worthy!