Murmur, Complain, Grumble……Balance?

Recently I read something that said: The greatest snare in the wilderness is murmuring and complaining – over my present situation, before you reach the place God has for you. The rest I will summarize, Because of these actions, it took 40 years for the children of Israel to reach the promised land. Sometimes because of grumbling, God holds back what is planned until we are content with Him.

Recently while talking with the Lord, I found myself in tears as I miss my family, friends, what I am familiar with. In this conversation, what I had recently read, which is written above, came to mind. Immediately, I am questioning my prayer, is this murmuring, complaining or grumbling? Because if so, that is NOT what I want to do or be a reason God has to hold back something, because of my mouth. I was struggling with this concept of my heart, my thoughts, my mind, missing family and friends, missing what is familiar verses murmuring, complaining or grumbling.

As I am writing this, my mind is jumping here and there in what the Holy Spirit laid on my heart that day and even now as I am sharing this with you. Let’s start with that day. I was reminded of Paul and many times his words.

I Thessalonians 2: 17 “But we (Paul, Silvanus & Timotheus Ch1:1), brethren (to the church of at Thessalonica), being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored the more abundantly to see your face with great desire.“

Other verses such as Philippians 1: 8, Paul says, I long after or for you. 2 Timothy 1:3-4, once again Paul (paraphrasing) says, I remember you day and night in my prayers and I desire to see you.

These words brought so much comfort to me. When you read the account of the children of Israel being led out of Egypt, even before they left, the many miracles God displayed to and for them. As they traveled out of Egypt, the crossing of the Red Sea, as they wandered thru the wilderness, God provided water from a rock, manna from Heaven, His protecting hand and yet they murmured. Some might look at them with disdain, or may say or think, I would never do that…….not me. I am no different than the children of Israel. How soon I can forget the blessings of yesterday, the faithfulness of my Abba throughout my lifetime; especially when my heart misses everything that I have known or am familiar with.

Today, this is what I was reminded of: Proverbs 11:1 “A false balance is abomination to the Lord: but a just weight is his delight.” I often quote this verse when speaking of mercy and truth. Mercy – God’s love, God’s Favour. Truth – God’s Absolute, Inherent Law/Grace. I challenge you to look in Proverbs, how more times than not “truth” comes secondary to…. mercy, to love. Even in the New Testament, Jesus looked out at the people with compassion (love) and then He gave truth. But, for today, what is the just weight?

I believe in keeping the scale properly balanced you cannot always look ahead, without looking back nor can you always look back without looking ahead. Simple illustration, those who drive. If you get in a car and never look in the rear-view mirror, you’ve got problems, you just backed into a tree. If you are always looking at the rearview mirror, you just missed the curve hitting another tree. The windshield, what is in front of us is far larger than the rearview mirror and what is behind us. The point being, I focus on what is here and now, looking ahead and at times, I can look back to remember and as Paul penned those words, I remember you, I long to see you……to me there is the balance. I don’t and cannot live in the past and as hard as it is to write, I don’t live where I am most familiar, the United States, I live in Ukraine.

Eventually Paul would also write Philippians 1: 21-24 ” For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and be with Christ: which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.

I understand in these verses Paul is speaking of our eternal home and the desire to be “there” verses being “here” where we are today. The principle of what is most needed or what has God called me/us to; is how do I apply these scriptures to my here and now. With no doubts, I know God has led me here to Ukraine to fulfill His plan; there have been and will be times where my heart longs for what I have always known, or for my Heavenly home and that’s okay. Keeping the balance. At times in prayer, saying, I miss where I grew up, I miss my family and friends. But I know you have brought me here to follow your plan and you have and will give me everything I need. I trust you; my faith is in you. You gave me a Comforter who walks with me every day and maybe today, I need just an extra hug or a wink from you so I remember……I am yours!

Look Up, Keep Serving Jesus, He is Worthy!